Hello, and thank you all for coming today. I have always
thought of funerals as a time to pay tribute. A time to remember and A time to
grieve. It is part of the processes of coming to terms with loss, My Father
impacted us all in various amounts and various depths, some here will be in deep mourning, others are here to show respect, whatever the reason, however he
may have impacted your life, we thank you for coming.
(I am aware of all that my Father was, I lived under his
care for 18 years, and knew him for 50 years; today I choose to honour him and
to speak only well of him.)
He would have been quite happy to admit he was born into
poverty, in an East end family, to very young parents, born at the end of the world’s
worst ever depression and with a world war looming less than a year away.
Uncle John could probably give us a bit more detail, I wasn't there and Rod did not talk much about his childhood, he talked about
playing on derelict bomb sites, rationed chocolate, he remembered owning his
first pair of underpants and the lows of going to school before his Mum could
afford to buy him any, he loved his little brother and looked out for him, That
may sound like a bleak childhood, and my brief account hides the bleakest facts
in the family home, he wouldn’t want me talking about them today, in spite of
all this, when he did reminisce, he spoke quite fondly of those times.
He signed up to the RAF in 1958, he got married in 1959 and
he never returned to London to live, in 1962 he made Harlow his home, for a man
that was happy to embrace change, I was always surprised he never moved home
again, he told me he would die at home and true to his word he did just that.
How do I remember him?
- He showed me how to draw world war two fighters,
- He had an encyclopaedic knowledge of world war 2, he had a lot of knowledge about lots of things,
- He had strong teeth and a full head of hair, David and I are grateful for genetics,
- He wasn’t much for fun and games but I remember He was the King of Space hopper races in our home, undefeated from 1970 until 1973.
For holidays we camped which he quite liked, later we
caravanned which he loved. There was often a car that needed fixing; his,
Mum’s, mine, David’s, my Grandad’s, a neighbours, a friends, a friend of a
friends. There was nothing he couldn't take apart, mend and put back together,
when my aged Vauxhall Viva’s engine threw its big ends (or something) he had a
second hand engine sitting in the garden, it hadn't worked for years, but it
gave my Viva another 2 years life. He wouldn't take any money for the hours of
hard work. Until quite recently if you needed the engine mounting bolts
loosened he was your man, he was unnervingly strong.
He was a dog lover, maybe we get to keep our pets in
heaven and he is up there now with the string of dogs he owned, Lucky and
Trixie, Sally, Gunner and Kizzie, even though he didn't do the feeding or the dog walking or playing fetch, they all seemed to gravitate towards him, though
that may be because he didn't do the rotten stuff either, like taking them to
the vet or wash them.
He didn't have that little voice inside our heads that says;
‘actually this is dangerous’ for instance he had a hankering to take up scuba diving
again. So instead of taking the normal route, lessons in a swimming pool etc.
he made himself a wet suit, constructed a re-breather devise that seemed to
involve Potassium Superoxide, he melted down lead and poured it into moulds to
make weights, cut out and glued his own wet suits and away we went, our young
men/ young women’s activity to a water filled gravel pit near Dobbs Weir must
count as the most dangerous youth activity ever put on by Harlow ward but also
the most memorable.
At various times in his life he built model aeroplanes, messed about with walkie talkies, he loved fighter jets and motor cars and on
the rare occasion he read a book it would be science fiction.
He used his diving skills to great effect working as a diver
on the North Sea and in the Middle East, he apprenticed as a car and van
mechanic but was at various times a fireman (in the RAF), he worked in the
Construction industry, sold caravans, encyclopaedia’s, freezers and power
tools, he ran a crane business and a car repair business and he’d give up a job on the flimsiest of
pretexts and he would usually get another one, even in the most difficult of
economic times. Until quite recently he drove a mini cab which still sits on
the hardstand in Fullers Mead.
In 1967 he opened the door to the Mormon Missionaries, that
simple act changed the lives of many people, his wife, his children, his
brother and cousin who he introduced to the church, also other people we have
met along the way on missions, in congregations, in our homes. He struggled
with the many rules and regulations we have in this church but the scriptures
teach us ‘How great shall be your joy if you bring in one soul to our Fathers
Kingdom,’ Rod’s actions in his younger days have brought in dozens to the
Lord’s kingdom, for this I hope God’s mercy and love have extended to Rod.
If there is a welcoming committee when we get to the other
side he will now be reunited with his cousin Ray, his two brothers Charlie and
Jimmy, his Mum and his Dad (though on opposite sides of the room), Joyce,
Charlie, Gladys and Mac.
He will by now know the answers to some of the questions
that have perplexed us all throughout our lives, the true nature of God, the
creation of the world, Gods plan for our happiness throughout eternity, on a
lighter note he will have learnt that football not formula one is the greatest
sport of all time.
He would have been furious that he missed the British Grand
Prix and delighted to have missed the entire Olympics and the rest of our damp
summer, no more caravanning holidays for the Wilkins family.
Of all the men I have known, he has probably spoken the
fewest words, infuriating at the dinner table, but useful when trying to watch
the news, In his last few months I spent more time with him than ever before,
his eyesight was so poor, his strength and mobility drained away, we had no
option but to talk. We talked about the past, about his Grandchildren, 6
wonderful young people he was very proud of, his two boys whom he found it so
difficult to tell them he loved, his marriage which he admits he made a mess
of, Molly who he loved and we talked of death which he was ready to embrace and
we talked about God and what he could expect to see when he left this world.
For Rod religion and our relationship with God was mostly a
theoretical concept rather than a lifelong devotion, he did believe in an
afterlife, a judgement and an Eternal reward, he did not walk in the ways of
this church, but he was never more than a few footsteps away, a sinner who
needs the Lord, just like the rest of us.
There is a life after this one, It is my belief and
conviction that we will rise up, at first without our mortal bodies and go to
place of peace and rest, eventually to be resurrected. This understanding did
not come easily to me, it came by prayer and study and personal revelation.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten
Son, who so ever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”
John 16:3
1843 William. W. PHELPS TO JOSEPH SMITH: THE
PROPHET.
VADE MECUM, (TRANSLATED.) GO WITH ME.
Go with me, will you go to the saints
that have died,—
To the next, better world, where the
righteous reside;
Where the angels and spirits in harmony
be
In the joys of a vast paradise? Go with
me.
Go with me where the truth and the
virtues prevail;
Where the union is one, and the years
never fail;
Not a heart can conceive, nor a nat’ral
eye see
What the Lord has prepar’d for the just.
Go with me.
Go with me where there is no destruction
or war;
Neither tyrants, or sland’rers, or
nations ajar;
Where the system is perfect, and
happiness free,
And the life is eternal with God. Go with
me.
Go with me, will you go to the mansions
above,
Where the bliss, and the knowledge, the
light, and the love,
And the glory of God do eternally be?—
Death, the wages of sin, is not there. Go
with me.
Nauvoo, January, 1843.
Conclusion; I will miss you Dad, Rod believed we would live
on, God’s mercy extends to all and all will return to live in God’s home and
under His protective care, Jesus taught us that in Fathers house there are many
mansions, my mother taught me that one of those will be a place of healing and
another teaching, Rod will need to spend time in both, when he has and we can
all see the finished article, all of Heaven will sit up and take notice, A
choice spirit has returned.
Looking round his home, I was reminded of that C.S. Lewis
quote “Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret?
There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.” It is clear to see possessions did not mean
anything to him, some worn out clothes, reference books gathering dust since
his eyes became too weak to read, an old car on the hardstand, very little for
a sentimental soul like me to take away as a memento, how do I keep his memory
alive? I will remember and repeat the family stories we all like to hear and to
tell, funny stories, cute things the grand children said and did, memories of
pets and people. I’ll say things like ‘I remember when Dad was alive….’ And we
as a family will keep him here until we are all reunited in Christ, I invite
you all to do the same.
