Bloody hell, i've got a brain tumour!

Seriously, no word of lie, I (may) have a tumour.

And if your doctor is sending you for an MRI scan then whatever you do never, ever, ever google symptoms of a brain tumour. It will terrify you.

Actually, the terror is on my ability to read the symptoms written down on the screen and then apply them to vague elements of my life and say, 'hey, I've got that.'

And so here it is,

Nausea, well that's me, i have been sick three times this month, maybe I'm bolting my food and am too old to be gobbling food without chewing it.

Neck stiffness, well yes. i get that, sort of. i stretch and exercise it everyday to keep some perspective but yeah I absolutely have that.

Poor coordination; Well didn't i drop the sacrament cup at church? spill food at a Fresheats event, walk into the living room door, tick. (possibly)

Headaches; this may be the one symptom i do have, early morning headaches that get better when I'm up, I have that, i totally have that.

And there are numbness, loss of sight, fits, mood swings, well no, none of these but as you know I'm dominated by self interest so I have ignored them.

So there you have it, i have a tumour and I'm going to die, probably soon. This mat even be my last posting. Farewell.

Blimey, Wilko that's all a bit self indulgent, you haven't even been to the hospital. in fact if i were you I'd leave this in your draft folder.